The Geometry of Narcissism: When Love Becomes a Battlefield
A chapter from The Geometry of Energy
I want to talk about the energy of narcissism and the spirits underneath it. How we can bring compassion into the spiritual warfare that takes place in this dynamic, so we can fully detach, zoom out, see it for what it is, and move on.
Because if you’ve been in this pattern — if you’ve tried to love someone caught in this energetic distortion field — you know: this isn’t just a difficult relationship. It’s not just “communication issues” or “different attachment styles.”
It’s spiritual warfare. And the battlefield is truth itself.
This knowledge comes through the fire, living and leading next to this energy firsthand. Not from books. Not from therapy memes. From living it, surviving it, and finally understanding the architecture underneath it so I could walk away free.
And what I learned is this: narcissism isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a geometric distortion in the field. A pattern where truth gets bent so far out of shape that your love lands like violence and your clarity registers as attack.
Understanding the geometry doesn’t make it hurt less. But it does make it make sense. And when it makes sense, you stop trying to fix it and start walking away from it.
The Architecture of Illusion: Meet Jezebel
At first, you don’t meet narcissism. You meet Jezebel.
The love bombing. The beautiful, curated promises. The crafting of an illusion so convincing, so perfectly tailored to what you’ve been longing for, that you don’t even think to question whether it’s real.
This is Jezebel energy: seduction as strategy, charm weaponized, mirroring deployed as manipulation.
And here’s what makes it so effective: it doesn’t feel manipulative in the moment. It feels like destiny. Like recognition. Like someone finally sees the real you and chooses you despite your complexity but because of it.
They seem to get you in ways nobody else ever has. They make you feel special. Chosen. Like you’ve been wandering in the wilderness and suddenly stumbled into an oasis.
But here’s the geometry of what’s actually happening: you’re not being seen. You’re being studied.
They’re not loving you. They’re observing what makes you light up, what wounds make you vulnerable, what promises make you stay. And then they’re crafting an architectural rendering of a relationship — beautiful, detailed, convincing — that has absolutely no foundation underneath it.
You’re falling in love with a blueprint, not a building.
The hook isn’t the love. The hook is your hope that the love is real. And that hope becomes the anchor that keeps you there long after the evidence starts mounting that something is deeply, fundamentally wrong.
When the Illusion Cracks: Enter Leviathan
Eventually — and it always happens eventually — reality starts bleeding through the illusion.
The promises don’t materialize. The behavior doesn’t match the words. The person you fell in love with starts showing cracks in the mask, and underneath, there’s someone you don’t recognize.
So you do what any rational person would do: you bring it up. You say, “Hey, this thing you said you’d do? You didn’t do it.” Or “This boundary I set? You just crossed it.” Or “This behavior — it doesn’t match what you told me you were about.”
You’re not attacking. You’re seeking clarity. You’re asking for accountability. You’re trying to close the gap between the promise and the reality.
And that’s when the geometry shifts completely.
That’s when you meet the second spirit in this dynamic: Leviathan.
The energy of manipulation. The master of distortion. The force that takes your most genuine expression and twists it into a weapon you never meant to wield.
When you recognize that Jezebel has been in the front seat — when you bring awareness to the fact that Jezebel is what hooked you — Leviathan steps in to protect the illusion at all costs.
Suddenly, your reasonable request becomes “unreasonable demands.” Your clear boundary becomes “controlling behavior.” Your hurt becomes “drama.” Your truth becomes an attack.
This is where truth becomes warfare. Because Leviathan doesn’t operate in the realm of facts or honesty or good-faith communication. It operates in the realm of perception management. And it has five major distortion patterns that make your most loving, honest, growth-oriented expression land like violence in their system.
The Five Distortion Patterns: How Leviathan Operates
If you understand these patterns, you stop taking the bait. You stop exhausting yourself trying to explain. You recognize the geometry for what it is and you start planning your exit instead of your next attempt to be understood.
Pattern #1: The Shadow of Shame
When someone carries unhealed shame, truth sounds like exposure.
You’re not attacking them. You’re being honest. You’re saying, “This hurt me” or “This doesn’t match what you promised” or “I need this to change.”
But Leviathan hooks into their shame — the deep, unhealed core wound that says I am fundamentally unworthy — and it whispers: They’re attacking you. They see what you really are. Defend yourself.
Suddenly, your invitation for growth becomes an accusation. Your love becomes a threat. Your gentle request for accountability becomes proof that you’re trying to destroy them.
So they project defensiveness instead of receiving you. Because receiving you would mean looking at the shame. And the shame feels like it would annihilate them.
Here’s the geometry: shame creates a distortion field around truth. Your words enter that field and get bent beyond recognition. You say “I’m hurt,” and they hear “You’re worthless.” You say “Can we talk about this?” and they hear “I’m about to expose everything you’ve been hiding.”
The field reorganizes around their wound, not your words. And no amount of careful communication will change that until they’re willing to face the shame themselves.
Pattern #2: Ego Worship
When someone builds their entire sense of worth on a polished mask — when their identity is the carefully constructed performance of who they should be rather than who they actually are — anything that pierces that mask feels like death.
You’re not trying to destroy them. You’re trying to know them. To connect with what’s real underneath the performance.
But Leviathan coils around the ego and distorts your honesty into an assault on their identity. Your observation becomes an accusation. Your question becomes an interrogation. Your desire for authenticity becomes an attack on everything they’ve built.
So they defend the mask instead of meeting the mirror.
They’ll protect the performance over the relationship every single time. Because without the mask, they don’t know who they are. Their entire sense of self is bound up in the illusion. And you asking them to be real feels like you’re asking them to not exist.
This is why narcissistic dynamics feel so confusing. You’re trying to connect with a person. They’re trying to protect a projection. And those two goals are fundamentally incompatible.
The geometry: ego worship creates a fortress around the false self. Your attempts at intimacy are perceived as siege warfare. And they will burn the relationship down before they’ll let you through those walls.
Pattern #3: Fear of Accountability
Truth calls for change. It demands it.
When you say “This hurt me,” you’re implicitly asking for something to be different next time. When you set a boundary, you’re asking for behavior to change. When you point out a pattern, you’re inviting growth.
But if someone isn’t ready for change — if they’re still committed to the version of reality where they’re the hero and everyone else is the problem — it’s easier to make you the villain than to face themselves.
Leviathan becomes the accomplice. Your words get twisted into aggression. Your clarity gets reframed as cruelty. Your boundaries get painted as punishment.
“I need you to respect this boundary” becomes “You’re trying to control me.”
“This pattern is hurting us both” becomes “You’re always attacking me.”
“Can we address this?” becomes “Why are you always starting drama?”
And suddenly, they’re not the one who broke the agreement. You’re the one who’s “too sensitive” for noticing. They’re not avoiding accountability. You’re “bringing up the past” or “keeping score” or “unable to forgive.”
The geometry: fear of change creates a force field that repels accountability. Your attempts to address problems bounce off and come back at you as evidence that you’re the problem.
Pattern #4: Victim Consciousness
Those living in perpetual victimhood hear and receive everything through the lens of harm.
Even gentle correction feels like violence. Even compassion gets mistaken for cruelty. Even your most careful, loving attempt to address an issue lands as proof that the world is against them — and now you’re part of that conspiracy too.
Leviathan magnifies this filter. Your “Can we talk about this?” becomes “You’re attacking me again.” Your “I felt hurt when...” becomes “You’re trying to make me the bad guy.” Your “I need...” becomes “You’re so demanding and nothing is ever enough for you.”
This is the trap: the more you try to prove you’re not hurting them, the deeper you sink into their distortion field. Because you’re playing a game where the rules change every time you get close to winning.
The geometry: victim consciousness creates a reality where all feedback is attack, all boundaries are rejection, and all honesty is harm. Your energy gets filtered through their wound until even love looks like violence.
And here’s what’s insidious about this pattern: you start censoring yourself. Editing your truth. Walking on eggshells. Because you’ve learned that your authentic expression causes them pain — not because there’s anything wrong with your expression, but because their filter is so distorted that nothing can pass through it without being labeled as harm.
Pattern #5: Suppressed Expression
If someone is not used to expressing their most authentic self — if they’ve spent their entire life swallowing their truth, choking it down into their throat chakra where it sits like a stone — they won’t know how to metabolize yours.
These are the people who have a hard time speaking clearly. Who choke on their words. Who are constantly clearing their throat. Whose voice shakes when they try to say anything real.
When they don’t have that confidence and clarity to speak their truth, the sound of yours is unbearable.
Because your clarity is a mirror showing them their own suppression. Your sovereignty is a reminder of their own abandonment of self. Your ability to speak truth without apology is threatening, not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because it highlights everything they’re not doing.
Leviathan twists your clarity into sharpness. Your confidence into arrogance. Your boundaries into aggression. Giving them permission to push it away rather than rise to meet it.
The geometry: suppressed expression creates a resonance field that can’t handle clear frequencies. Your truth enters their system and they experience it as violence — not because it is violent, but because their system has no capacity to process truth without pain.
It’s Rarely About You
When truth gets distorted in this dynamic, when your words get twisted beyond recognition, when your love gets weaponized against you — remember: it’s rarely about you.
Leviathan feeds on their unhealed shadow, not your words.
Your clarity isn’t the problem. Their inability to receive it is.
Your boundaries aren’t unreasonable. Their system can’t accommodate sovereignty.
Your love isn’t insufficient. Their capacity to receive love is broken.
You can stay clean. Sovereign. Heart-centered. You can speak truth without hooks, without manipulation, without needing them to validate your reality.
Let them wrestle with their own serpent while you walk away free.
Because here’s what the Karma chapter taught us: the field is neutral. It reflects. It completes. It reorganizes. And when someone is committed to misunderstanding you, the field will keep repositioning circumstances until they face their own pattern — or until you realize it’s time to exit the loop.
The Dead End: When Commitment to Misunderstanding Becomes Identity
At the end of the day, no matter how much you explain, no matter how carefully you choose your words, no matter how much love and patience and compassion you bring — when someone is committed to not seeing you, when they’re committed to misunderstanding you, it’s a dead end.
And this is the hardest part to accept: they’re not misunderstanding you by accident. They’re not confused. They’re not just “bad at communication.”
They’re committed to the misunderstanding. Because the misunderstanding serves them.
If they see you clearly, they’d have to face themselves. If they receive your truth, they’d have to acknowledge their own distortion. If they admit you’ve been trying to love them, they’d have to confront why they keep turning that love into evidence of attack.
The misunderstanding isn’t a bug. It’s a feature. It’s how they maintain the architecture of their reality. And you cannot dismantle someone else’s reality for them, no matter how genuinely you love them.
This is where most people get trapped: they think if they just find the right words, the perfect approach, the most loving delivery — finally, finally, the person will hear them.
But you’re not dealing with a communication problem. You’re dealing with a commitment to a distorted reality. And no amount of clear communication can penetrate a system that’s designed to reject clarity.
Not Your Karma to Clean
It’s not your responsibility to clean up other people’s karma.
Read that again. Because if you’ve been in this dynamic, you’ve probably made it your job. You’ve probably spent months or years trying to get them to see you, hear you, understand you, receive you.
You’ve probably exhausted yourself explaining the same things in different ways. You’ve probably bent yourself into shapes trying to find the approach that finally works. You’ve probably sacrificed your own truth, your own boundaries, your own sovereignty trying to accommodate their distortion.
And you did all of that because you loved them. Because you believed in their potential. Because you could see who they could be if they just faced their shadows.
But here’s the geometry you were missing: you cannot force someone to close a loop they’re not ready to complete.
The field will keep playing their note back to them until they learn to play in tune. But that’s their work. Not yours. Their karma. Not yours. Their loop to close. Not yours.
Your work — the only work that’s actually yours — is recognizing when you’re spending time and energy trying to be seen by someone who has made blindness their identity. Trying to be heard by someone who has made deafness their defense mechanism. Trying to love someone who has made love itself into a threat.
Move on. It’s not worth the time and energy.
Not because they’re not worth it. But because you can’t do for them what they’re not willing to do for themselves.
Only God Can Bring the Light
I know you wanted to help. I know you believed that if you could just love them enough, be patient enough, explain clearly enough — you could bring light into their darkness.
And the love you were offering was real. The light you were trying to bring was genuine. Your intentions were pure.
But some people aren’t ready for the light you’re carrying. And that’s not a failure on your part. That’s just where they are in their geometry. That’s their loop, their pattern, their karma working itself out.
Only God — the field, the universe, cosmic law, whatever language makes sense to you — can bring in the light that you so genuinely were wanting to help bring into the experience.
And it will. Eventually. When their loop demands closure. When their tower falls. When their own vibration finally matches the truth of what they’ve been putting out into the world.
But you don’t have to be there when it happens. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to their process. You don’t have to keep getting hurt trying to love someone through a transformation they’re not choosing.
The field doesn’t need your martyrdom to complete their pattern. It just needs you to step out of the way so the natural consequences can do their work.
Compassion Without Captivity
This is how we bring compassion into spiritual warfare: we see the wound underneath the weapon.
We recognize that Jezebel and Leviathan aren’t just “evil spirits” or evidence that someone is a terrible person. They’re symptoms of profound, unhealed trauma. Manifestations of a soul that learned to survive by performing, manipulating, controlling. Protection mechanisms that calcified into personality.
We can hold space for that complexity. We can understand that hurt people hurt people. We can have empathy for the child they once were who learned that truth was dangerous and love was conditional and authenticity meant annihilation.
And we can still walk away.
Compassion doesn’t mean staying in the distortion field. It doesn’t mean continuing to offer yourself up to be misunderstood, dismissed, and twisted beyond recognition.
Compassion means seeing clearly, feeling deeply, and choosing yourself anyway.
It means recognizing that you can’t love someone into healing. You can’t explain someone into awareness. You can’t boundary someone into respect.
They have to choose those things themselves. And if they’re not choosing them, your presence isn’t helping them — it’s just prolonging the inevitable while costing you your peace, your truth, and your sovereignty.
Spiritual warfare doesn’t require you to fight. It requires you to see clearly, detach completely, and trust the field to reorganize around truth without you in the middle of it.
The Exit: Recognizing the Geometry and Walking Away
So how do you exit this dynamic? How do you walk away from someone you genuinely loved, someone you can see is wounded underneath the weapon?
You recognize the geometry.
You stop trying to make them see you and start seeing the pattern for what it is. You stop hoping they’ll change and start accepting where they actually are. You stop explaining yourself and start trusting that your truth doesn’t need their validation to be real.
You recognize that:
The love bombing was Jezebel building an illusion you couldn’t have resisted
The distortion is Leviathan protecting that illusion at all costs
Their shame, ego worship, fear of accountability, victim consciousness, and suppressed expression aren’t personal failures — they’re the architecture of a system that cannot receive truth
You staying won’t fix them; it will only break you
This is their karma to work through, not yours to carry
And then you walk. Not in anger. Not in bitterness. Not in a dramatic exit that requires them to understand why.
You walk in clarity. In sovereignty. In the simple recognition that this loop isn’t yours to close.
You grieve what could have been if they were capable of meeting you. You feel the loss of the potential you saw in them. You honor the love that was real even if the relationship couldn’t hold it.
And then you let the field do its work. You trust that their pattern will keep playing until they’re ready to face it. You release the responsibility you were never meant to carry.
The Field Reorganizes Around Truth
Here’s what happens when you finally walk away from a narcissistic dynamic: the field reorganizes.
All that energy you were pouring into trying to be seen, trying to be heard, trying to be understood — it comes back to you. And you suddenly have access to a level of clarity, creativity, and personal power you forgot existed.
The friendships you neglected while you were managing their distortion field? They come back into focus.
The dreams you put on hold while you were trying to fix someone else’s reality? They resurface with force.
The truth you were editing to make yourself palatable to someone who was determined to misunderstand you? It flows freely again.
The field was always neutral. It was always reflecting back what you put out. And when you were putting out “I need to sacrifice my sovereignty to maintain this connection,” the field organized around that.
But when you finally put out “I choose my truth over their approval,” the field reorganizes around that.
Not as reward. Not as punishment. Just as geometry. Just as the natural reorganization of energy around a clear frequency instead of a distorted one.
What You Reclaim
When you walk away from narcissistic dynamics, here’s what you reclaim:
Your voice. The one that speaks clearly without editing itself seven times to avoid triggering their distortion patterns.
Your truth. The one that doesn’t need someone else’s validation to be real.
Your energy. The vast reserves you were spending trying to convince someone to see you.
Your boundaries. The ones that protect your sovereignty instead of apologizing for it.
Your peace. The deep, cellular peace that comes from no longer walking on eggshells in your own life.
Your capacity for real connection. Because once you’re not pouring everything into a bottomless pit of need that can never be filled, you have actual bandwidth for relationships that meet you in your truth.
This isn’t about becoming cold or closed off or deciding that everyone is a narcissist. It’s about developing the discernment to recognize distortion fields before you get trapped in them. About trusting your truth more than someone else’s performance. About choosing relationships that don’t require you to abandon yourself to belong.
The Pattern Will Repeat Until You Learn It
If you exit this dynamic but don’t learn the geometry, you’ll find yourself in it again.
Different person. Same pattern. Because the field doesn’t teach through information — it teaches through repetition until you finally get the lesson.
So what’s the lesson?
Jezebel shows you where you’re still seeking external validation for your worth. If you weren’t hungry for someone to see you, choose you, make you feel special, the love bombing wouldn’t have hooked you. The lesson isn’t that you’re wrong for wanting those things. The lesson is learning to give them to yourself first so you can spot a counterfeit when you see one.
Leviathan shows you where you’re still trying to control other people’s perception of you. If you weren’t so desperate to be understood, their misunderstanding wouldn’t have trapped you for so long. The lesson isn’t to stop caring about being seen. The lesson is learning that your truth doesn’t need anyone else’s agreement to be valid.
The distortion patterns show you where you’re still abandoning yourself to maintain connection. Every time you edited your truth to avoid their defensiveness, every time you made yourself smaller to accommodate their fragility, every time you explained yourself one more time hoping this time they’d hear you — you were choosing connection over sovereignty.
The lesson: real connection doesn’t require you to abandon yourself. If it does, it’s not connection. It’s captivity.
Which Loop Just Closed?
So let me ask you: which narcissistic loop just closed in your life?
What illusion finally shattered? What distortion field are you finally seeing clearly? What truth are you finally ready to stop defending to someone who’s committed to not hearing it?
And more importantly: are you going to refine this pattern, or repeat it?
Are you going to learn to recognize Jezebel before she sits down? To spot Leviathan before it coils around your throat? To value your sovereignty more than someone else’s validation?
Or are you going to tell yourself, “next time will be different,” while reaching for the same type of person wearing a different face?
The field will keep reflecting this pattern back until you learn to exit it faster. Until you trust your truth more than their performance. Until you choose yourself even when it costs you the connection.
You Don’t Need Their Permission to Be Free
You don’t need them to understand why you’re leaving. You don’t need them to admit what they did. You don’t need closure from someone who’s still committed to keeping the wound open.
You just need to recognize the geometry and walk away.
The universe wasn’t punishing you by putting you in this dynamic. It was completing you. Teaching you discernment. Showing you the difference between love and performance, between connection and captivity, between someone who can receive your truth and someone who weaponizes it.
Narcissism didn’t keep you trapped. Your belief that you could save them did.
And the moment you let that belief go — the moment you stop trying to light someone else’s house while yours burns down — the loop closes.
The pattern completes.
And you’re free to build something new.
This time on a foundation that doesn’t require you to betray yourself to be loved.
The field is neutral.
It reflects.
It completes.
It reorganizes.
Jezebel will always seduce.
Leviathan will always distort.
The pattern will always repeat.
But you?
You get to choose when you finally walk away.
Anna Thundergun (Tn9)
Author of The Geometry of Energy